It has been almost a week since we noticed our beloved Bear's health start to take a turn for the worse. Our lives had become so ritual, go to work, come home, make dinner, do homework with kids, get prepared for bed, and feed Bear. Last Wednesday it had turned into a chaotic evening at home and I had been rushing around helping kids with this and that and asked Bridger before he went to bed to please feed Bear. I took no notice of Bear outside. I just did my thing. But as I myself was getting ready to go to bed, I was shutting the blinds and noticed our dear sweet dog, laying by his dish of food, it still full. I stopped in pure sadness. I went out and talked to him and offered him some more and he turned his head. He lay quiet and still. I took a picture and sent it to Steve and asked him if I should be worried, he told me not to worry, go to bed and he'll feed him when he got home from work. I could hardly rest. Steve got home and he went straight to the old pup, offered him his food once again, and he could not get him to take a bite. He then came and got some doggie aspirin and put in a ball of beef and wrapped a piece of bread around it trying to mask the scent of the aspirin. Still no success. He lay there just looking at him.
Thursday morning I woke and still his dish was full but I did see that he had eaten the ball of meat and bread ~ I prayed that it worked that he was fine. He had made his way downstairs I hoped that he was back to normal. Steve woke and watched him, still he didn't eat. Bridger got home from school and went to check on him, he was laying in the far corner of the yard, so still...and he had thrown up...Bridger was scared to go near him for fear he was gone...but he was still alive and happy to see Bridger. Steve had me get him some soft dog food and try and feed it to him when I got home from work. I did just that. I sat outside with the opened can and just dishing out small spoonfuls pleading with him to eat. HE DID!! He slowly ate the food. He ate about a 1/4 of a can, stood up and walked away. I was well pleased! I went to bed.
Friday morning rolled around and usually in the mornings the deck is clear of any animals, not this day. Bear had made his way up the stairs and laying staring straight at the door. Steve noticed he had thrown up all the food he had eaten the night before, I felt defeated!! My heart was aching, I new what needed to happen and I knew that our home was going to be so sad for days to come. Steve's life long friend was old and sick. Branden had sensed things since Wednesday, telling all he knew his doggie was sick and going to die.. ( we had never said a thing to him, he just knew ) He had cried a lot at school and with his Eaton Alliance staff, so Steve got off work early and picked up Branden and they went home and made a bed for the old pup in the garage. It became a place of friendship and love. I got home from taking the boys to see their dad ( they all told Bear Bear their goodbyes ) and we put our coats and beanies on, found some blankets and made a pallet for the pup, got a space heater and some chairs and surrounded the dog and let him rest, he was breathing so hard. He was so quiet., except for the moments when Steve would carress him, and he would let out a little growl, it was kind of like he knew. Steve was praying that he'd go in his sleep to help the ease of the pain of making that rechid decision to put him to rest. After hours of spending time with him, we went to bed.
Saturday came, I was so afraid to walk in the garage, I just sat on the couch until Hunter came upstairs, and Hunter and I walked in there, and there with his big brown eyes he stared at us, like he was so glad to have someone in the garage with him again. Sadly, he had been sick through the night and thrown up. Steve got the courage to go visit him and see he is still not doing well. We discussed our options, to just let him lay and live the rest of his life in the garage as we wait for him to slowly go. He had me call the vets office to see our options for the day. We discussed what could happen. We cried. But we made the enevitable appointment, at 2 pm. As 1 pm rolled around Bear started to get up on his own and walk around, he went outside and went to the bathroom, he gave us a slight hope that he was just a little sick and was going to pull through. As the time approached to get him in the car to take him away, we struggled, Bear was not going to go, he didn't want anything to do with the truck or the car, he would walk away as if to say "No way! We finally decided, ok if we get him in the car, we will just have the vet evaluate him, she can tell us if we are making the wrong choice. I felt a little at ease, like she was going to tell us he had the flu, he was going to be ok.
At the vet's, I just remembering feeling a little helpless. Knowing that the heart ache and pain may just get worse. We waited for the vet to come in...it was only minutes long but it seemed forever. She walked in and he didn't even move, Bear just lay there. We told her of his symptoms and we asked her to give him an examination and evaluation....crossing my fingers she'd have good news. As she examined the big boy, he would kind of growl/cry when he got near his abdomine. He was in severe pain. As she consulted us and told us that he could have numerous things we could do X_Rays, and blood work..but all would tell us he was sick and old. He was also burdened with arthritis and could hardly walk. As she spoke you could tell it tore her up to even suggest we lay him to rest. She said, in a soft tone "if he were my dog, I'd let him go" Our decision was made. It was not easy but he didn't deserve to hurt any longer. We chose to be with him to the very end. Steve sat on the floor...holding his head. It only took not even 2 minutes and he was resting...forever. We wept. We held him. We hugged each other and we said a tender goodbye.
Through this journey, I have learned that we have friends and family and we feel happy, but our animals help complete our family and home, they make us whole. Bear was a devoted friend. He filled a void of loneliness for Steve, when he was alone. He protected Branden and gave him a friend that no other boy could do. He guarded our home and kept bad people out, and most of all, he loved all of us unconditionally, his big brown eyes and wagging tail spoke multitudes of happiness to our hearts. He will forever be missed. RIP dear Bear Bear. We love you.
Not the least hard thing to bear when they go from us, these quiet friends, is that they carry away with them so many years of our own lives.
John Galsworthy
No comments:
Post a Comment