Being a mother

The last few days has taken me back a few steps, to sit and ponder and pray as a mother that I can have the courage and strength to guide, comfort and love my oldest child.  A little over 18 years ago, I sat and held this strong, beautiful, healthy baby boy in my arms, with such wonderment.  He was so fascinating to me.  I felt so blessed to be his mommy, and could not believe the Lord gave him to me raise.  I never dreamt that I would find myself trying to console a child and hold him like he was a babe again.  And trying to be the "big" person was even harder, I wanted to be the one to be consoled, to have someone explain to me WHY?  But all I can say and all I know is that the love of a mother is the most consoling thing a person could ask for no matter how old you are, as Dakotah looked to me for love and comfort Friday, I looked to my mother as well.  I am so glad that the Lord has provided me with the love and courage to be a mom, as well as a mother who loves me...through all my many issues in life, she still is so willing to love me and if she were here, should hold me and wrap her arms around me as well. I am thankful that we have the Lord, and a God who allows us to love so deeply and he also is there to wrap his loving arms around us.  To my Son Dakotah, I love you more than words can say, and I know that the Lord loves you and has so many great plans for you, keep your chin up and say your prayers...good will prevail my son!