Pure exhaustion and counting to 10 over and over again

I sit here just completely exhausted wondering if I can even get up tomorrow.  The month of May has been a busy time for me. We learned at the end of April that Branden has been taken off the waiting list for the DSPD funding and that just started a long process of more paper work. We have had  assessment after assessment and now we are waiting for the State of Utah to do it's thing...and so we wait.. and wait and wait. But as we wait, the months are approaching where we are in need of help with Branden, and I am praying that it all pans out. Because we do no make a bundle of money we are not in any position to pay for care for Branden out of our own pocket and my kids, the ones who have been our saving grace all these years have things to do of their own this summer and we will not have them to rely on. Bitter sweet for me, I am glad they get to be kids, but I need their help. I had approached my work to see if they'd let me work from home during that time period and the answer was no. So now we pray even harder for this to come to fruition...I have tried numerous times to apply for different positions within Career Step..knowing I have the qualifications..but it seems they have different ideas as far as I am concerned there for me and I feel useless and not wanted..but I still plug away, cause my kids finally have health insurance, I am not going to give up on this...I gotta make things better for them..they deserve it.... :0)I also had my gall bladder removed on my sweet boy Dakotah's birthday (May 16th), and I finally feel my age, I feel old, I think. I have been completely exhausted physically and emotionally. I literally couldn't wake this morning, I got up and was a zombie and if I sat down I fell asleep...on the couch, on the toilet..ha, at the kitchen table, and that terrified me to even sit in the car for fear I would fall asleep, so I called Jared to chat on my way to work so I would be awake, thank goodness for cell phones. Briche Elena graduates tomorrow and now I have a day off...but with so much to do...I wish I could take two more days off and sleep....would that help? I get so overwhelmed and wished that I was not so tender..and worrisome..but I guess it's my nature. SOOO I guess... I try to sleep when I can and count to 10 as I start to cry and feel like I can't go anymore! :o)